Sunday, June 14, 2009

You might be the wife of an addict if........

You have slept with the car keys in your pillowcase so he doesn't sneak out.

You have come up with hiding places that the Easter Bunny would envy.

You have talked Pharmacists into giving you all kinds of information that's illegal.

You can look into the eyes of your husband and know EXACTLY what he's taken.

You have dumped hundreds of dollars worth of medication down your toilet.

You absolutely relish the good times, because you've tasted the bad.

Every once in awhile you see the man you married and your heart swells.

You know all his hiding places too.

You have tried to gracefully exit a family party with a high husband in tow.

You wish someone would fix it, but nobody can.

You run the show......more like his mother than his wife.

You wake up at night to make sure he's breathing.

You have a plan in place if one night he isn't.

You struggle to know what to say to your kids. What's age appropriate?

Your heart swells with pride when you can see him really trying.

Your heart breaks in half when he fails.

You are at times angry, sad, frustrated, furious, unkind, and tired.

You gladly take on life as a single mom as he struggles through months of treatment.

You hope.

You doubt decisions you have made. And the ones you are making right now, too.

You get angry when other just see the addict and not the man.

You have been shocked to find empty pill bottles in strange places.

You have gotten calls from pharmacies.

You have sent your husband to court and then spent an hour on your knees.

You cry in the bathtub, because if he hears you it only adds to his shame.

You know more than you ever wanted to about addiction and the 12 step program.

You have compassion and insight and love for an out casted group of people....and their wives.

You have been humiliated by him.

You have laughed at some crazy high behavior, in an effort not to scream or cry, or both.

You have felt the bondage of addiction and have never abused anything.

You have suffered the consequences of his decisions.

His behavior has affected friendships, family relationships, and your marriage.

You have taken his name off bank accounts, cut up credit cards and taken away vehicles.

You know too well how to "burn bridges" with doctor's offices.

You still love him.

You have more faith, hope, and strength than you ever knew possible.

In the end you are a better person because of it all.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are right on. Its like you are taking the words right out of my mouth. The only difference it is my wife who is the addict. There is blessings and cursing s with addiction that is for sure. Hang in there. There is a lot of us out there with the same feelings, desires, fears, frustrations, anger, disappointment and a whole lot of hope.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the courage
you share. It helps to know that we are not alone. I attend the 12
step program with my husband. It is a great help although sometimes I am the only person who has not been addicted to a substance. Those nights can seem lonely. There are so many feelings that noone understands. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

Look at all the people you are helping by posting your thoughts and feelings. I told you this was an amazing idea. I am proud of you.

You know who i am.....

Leslie Kay said...

I too am married to a drug addict. I have been married for 21 years and 4 years ago found out he had an addiction. Unknown to me (I know dumb) it had been going on for 8-10 years prior to that. I was going to leave and found out I was pregnant. So four years later I'm still trying to figure out all the anger and resentment and where I go from here. I would love to talk to you personally - there are so few couples who go through this. If you're interested please email me at l.k.bennett@comcast.net or call my cell: (801) 913-4013. I know it sounds crazy I just can relate so much to you it'd be nice to talk in person.

Anonymous said...

I too am the wife of an addict. I had a dream that I wrote a book with your blogs title. Guess maybe I needed to read this. I however don't have your strength and will most likely end my marriage soon (bet you've said that before) . Thank you for taking the time and having the courage to do this! We are NOT alone!!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for posting. I'm right there with you. We are not alone. I struggle to stay or leave often. That's how I found your blog, using a search engine to find comfort that I'm not alone. I read your blog & feel like I could be the one writing it. Thank you again.

Cortney said...

I just want to give you a hug right now.

Anonymous said...

I to am married to a drug addict. I've been a nurse for over five years and have such a distaste for drug seeking indivuals and can call them out quickly and people know how. So much of what you said I have felt or thought. My eyes were filling with tears reading your stories because I know and have felt the same things. I have often strugled with if I should leave my husband. My husband almost left us once because he is adicted to prescription pain medication. Very hard, not sure what to do I know I've been praying more then I have in the last couple of years.