My world in the light

I thought about unposting what I wrote last night. I have decided against it. I think it's important to post the dark posts because lets face it, that's usually the place we are in when we sit at our computers at 2 am googling addiction. It's usually after a painfully hard day. When we feel defeated. And as wives of addicts, we often ride the roller coaster without the bonus of being drugged numb. With a checked out spouse the weight rest heavily upon our shoulders. Everyday. I have often felt the dreariness of pain that comes as a result of a decision I did not make. And when our companion is robbed of every ability to cope or even manage himself, everything becomes our responsibility. And some nights are dark and heavy. The glorious thing is that the hopelessness of those dark nights are usually brightened by the morning sun. Am I still responsible for the same life I had last night? Yes. Do I have a pretty good grasp on it? Yes. I can do it all, and do it all pretty well too. Sometimes, you just have to wait for the sun to rise.