I don't suffer from the "why me?" syndrome. Nor "angry at God" itis.
But I do have one ailment that comes back over and over.
Apparently it's chronic.
Envy.
And not of anyone's boat, or house, or car. I couldn't care less about any of that. I'm even over being envious of other people's children, or perhaps their ability to have as many as they want when they want them. One thing I envy is other people's trials. They seem so trivial and ....lame. They can't decide on what color to paint their walls. They are too busy shuttling kids around town to shop at boutiques. They don't know which gardener to hire.
Blah, blah, blah.
It makes me want to throw up.
Want to know what else really bugs me? People who's marriage is a fairytale, practically problem free, and then they flaunt it on Facebook or their blog.
Wife: Miss you today Honey, don't know if I can make it all day without you here holding my hand.
Husband: My wife is so HOT!
Wife: My husband is so wonderful! We are SOUL MATES!
Now I know that everyone has problems and trials. And don't you dare give me that line about how strong and valiant I must be to be tested so hard. That's a bunch of crap.
I know that the cure to envy is gratitude. I hate to jump on dumb bandwagons, like gratitude journals, but I need to do something here. I think I may take a vacation from blogs and Facebook too. You know, just for treatment sake.
How do you handle it?
I am an LDS mother of two and the wife of an addict. Following multiple surgeries, my husband became addicted to prescription pain meds. We have been fighting the battle since 2003. It's a long road.
Please feel welcome to contribute comments to this blog! I hope that this will become a place to ask questions, seek strength and validation, and gain understanding. You do not need to be married to an addict, or share my religious views. All are welcome.
About Me
- Jenny
- I am the mother of two beautiful children. We will celebrate 10 years of marriage this fall.
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3 comments:
I have this too! I've been tempted to block people from my FB wall so I don't have to see their happiness.....and there are blogs I don't follow anymore for that same reason.
When I read things like that on Facebook I literally want to run to the toilet and vomit!! I encourage myself by saying what problems are they trying to hide. My husband's addiction is so much easier to hide than your husband's, so no body would ever have to know. I wonder how many of these fairytale Facebookers have secret addictions and stumbling blocks that are easier to hide than outward addictions!! I really enjoy reading your blog and I am so glad I stumbled upon it. My husband is addicted to pornography and I have been tempted to start a blog similar to this one about pornography addicts. Your thoughts and feelings are so very similar to mine! I too struggle with the chronic illness of envy!! Thank you for sharing!!
I can totally relate!! My husband is addicted to opiates and we have a 2 year old son...which we needed IVF to conceive. I find myself getting very envious hearing pregnancy news for several reasons-because my husband and I are not in a healthy enough relationship to have another one and if we ever get to that point who knows if we will be able to conceive. I often hate myself for not being happy for the people sharing their happy news. And like you, I don't wish my hardships on anyone, I just wish these bad things would stop happening to me. I am so glad I found your blog, thanks for sharing!
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